Life of Pi

Watched this movie last Wednesday. At first I thought this was a magical-kind story which a boy and a tiger survived from ship wreck. The bengala tiger. The deep blue sea. The curly hair of his. The other three animals: hyaena, zebra and a orang utan. Then, its not. In the end, this isnt a fairy tale. He is the bengala tiger. The zebra is a sailor with a broken leg. The orang utan is his mom. The hyaena is the cruel chef. The rest I will leave for u to watch it.
The plot is organised in a quiet unexpectable way. After the movie, u won't stop thinking about what people capable to do. Then I think about doomsday. If this day really came, what would people do to survive. Killing each other? Then eats their flesh? In the end, I only could wish that you may enjoy ur life and prepare for the worst.

Angry then Forgive and Forget

Anger, Frustrated, Annoyed, Hurt, and anything could go with these vocabs are what I had been through for the past few months. I won't be telling the story behind all of these as I had promised myself not to talk about it. 

This year really isn't the best for me. A lot of things happen to me and my family. But apart from these negative emotions, I'm grateful are what I had been gone through. It was like a challenge to me, finding my own self again, struggling to do the right thing and decide for my future.  

I had signed up for Polytechnic in diploma for Architecture. I really hoped that I get it. What I really want now is get away from all these craps and had a whole new life, a life without fears and full with positive attitude.

I liked to thank you, my friend, for what you did to me. It really challenges my self-control and patience but now I didn't think I felt it anymore. It's forgive and forget now. Give me some time and spaces, I know I can do this :) 

A letter to my idol : Aung San Suu Kyi

                                                                                                                             

Dearest Suu Kyi,

          I know this might be weird but i do need to express my gratitute towards you. It was a starstuck moment for the first time I saw you. I was just 12 and was sitting in the living room watching the 8 o'clock news with my family. Then I saw you, standing behind the house gate of yours, waving your hands towards the supporters outside your house. The calm posture of yours, those tenderness eyes and the graceful way of yours waving your hands, "WOW" was the only word I had said after that news.

         After that, I found out more about you through my mum and the papers and the internet.
 I was stunned by who you are and what you did. Who could imagine that a woman with a charming feature and those slim limbs could have such strong and determined characters, using every strength she had to fight for her country. (Her calmness and polite manners whenever facing various situation and obstacles makes her even more respectable and I do believe this is one of the factors she was being given the Noble Peace Prize in 1991. However, she choose not to receive it because she was afraid that she won't get the chance to step into her own country again if she went abroad.)

         I would really like to thank you as somehow those endless spirits of yours had rekindles my passion towards politics. I hope that someday I will be somebody who is as kind-hearted and passionate as you.I shall end my letter by wishing you good luck and success for the hardworks of yours throughout these many years.

       Dam Suu, the forever Iron Lady in my heart.
       ( Dam Suu means Mother Suu by Burmese )

P.S. Please forgive me to address this lady of the century without the politeness of using either "madam" or any other suitable callings.

I'm LOST

I'm lost, and not just any paths or roads on this world,it's my life which I need to go on for maybe another half of decade. I had spent quiet a portion of my 18 life facing various obstacles,some ended quiet well but some just terrible. Somehow after these painful experience, I'm not me anymore. I'm not easy-going and caring, mostly spent most of my time gloomy and sad, I just bury my head into the sand and built up an protective shell for me,to avoid getting in touch with those terrifying problems.

Till now, after my dear friend exploded to me then I know I'm really off my track, I simply cant remember who I really is,all that is in my mind are those memories of being betrayed, being dumped and any other bad things at people who done to me. I hardly felt anything for the past years as I had shut down my thoughts and feelings. For such person like me, of course I denied his claim at first. But after listen his explanation, deep down inside me knew he is right. It was really hard at first, to tear open the well bandaged wounds, slowly take down the shell which I set up. I cried for most of the time. Thinking back those memories, analyses them in different point of view. But as you slowly proceeding this, you are unattaching those bad memories, seeing it as just an old path of you, you just felt free and gleeful. I had never felt this great before, it was like all this burden I had dumped away and I'm myself again. I don't need to be somebody who everyone wants me too, I'm just me meeeee :) Still now I still having some trouble with of low self esteem prob, but dont worried I will sort it out :)

Thanks for reading my blog tentatively. Have a great day :) I'm gonna blast off , woohoo

Perfectionist

Yes, I am one, wouldn't denied that.But not in every aspect, just one, and that's my love life. Kinda hoped that I would get a handsome BF just like Big Bang's T.O.P, height which at least 180cm and above, great bodyline, intelligent, humor, sporting, good in socializing, great family background and most of all, the one who could accept me as who I am. Well you know, of course I haven't yet met this kind of guy before because he was like 100% perfect without any weakness.

Apart from outer appearance, I do kinda wished to have a romantic lover. Well, it's not like giving me non stop of surprises or doing something really insane for me, it's just that he would listen to me and then take notice of every little tiny details about me :) Like remember that i hate eating tauge so no tauge in any meals or the date of my ms and kindly remind me to be prepared.

Yes yes, I know I know. I should stop dreaming right now, this instance. But this had become kinda a disease, sure will happen whenever I meet a guy. Conflicts on my own will pop up, doubting my faith in his, 'Is he THE ONE?' , 'Does he deserved to be with you?','Shouldn't he treat you more nicely?', 'He's not that good,isn't he?', 'Are you SURE you wanna be with him?'. It was like wanna ask everything from him, wanting him to become THE ONE,not himself and i felt selfish and arrogant.

This really tired's me off. Battling with my own thoughts, fighting back every accusing of him, disappointment of him. Kinda lost at here. Felt the loneliness creeps up every second, unsecureness was like gonna swallowed me down. Its not their problem, it's just mine. My perfection after lover

P.s. This is my ideal guy from now on :D

Driving me crazy

Well,I don't like saying this but I think I'm going nuts. You might think that "Hey,you just get your SPM results and had finished serving the National Service, is there anything really buggs you?" Unfortunately, yes. There are tons of things in my life is gonna crush me into bits =.= 



First, driving licence . Yup, I still haven't get any test or exams and haven't sit for the talk. When i'm still thinking that there is still plenty of time left, then our dear and sweet gouverment hits me in the head. They are changing the "Undang" exam system. The exam is suppose to do it by computer and now they wants it in essay starting this June. This news surely makes me fell of my chair and freaks me out. Imagine Undangs in essay, WOW sounds like a Sejarah paper for me. The pressure is up and i'm gonna register for the exam next week. Wish me luck :)

Next, my weight problem . After NS, my weight just surged up. Thanks to the Hell-Like NS, my family,friends and relatives keep asking me out and taking me for breakfast,lunch and dinner. That may sounds great to you but bad to my weight :( There is one friend of my who do care for my health and brought me to the park for a walk ( although i'm wearing heels that day and we just had lunch). Hurray for him xD ( Out of his "kindness", he asked whether wants to have a mango ice later but i said no )

Gonna start exercise again :)

Then, my friends . After getting the results, a lot of my friends had already applied for colleges and succeed. Some of them had gone already but i really do missed them :( Now just left me and some who can't afford to go for a private university and still waiting for any miracles in this small small town. Pathetic it is . But still I'm happy for my friends who had go on their lives and good luck for any scholarship replies.

Last but not least, my grandma. She just had a operation on Monday. Although the operation is a success,but she's now suffer from the so-called 'After operation effects'. She barely can walks and her leg is in pain. It s painful to watch,don't mention who is suffering it. I'm really worried about her and hurts me when she's in pain. I'm going to take care her because my aunt is quiet bsy with her work. Let's hope that she will recover soon :)

Yup,I had finished complaining. Since i had no one to talk to, so i just write them here :)

Byez. Will update something soon :)

P.S. I'm quiet sad to find out that you are leaving soon,But still good luck and study hard in Singapore. <3

Conflicts

Well,these days I kinda have some conflicts of my own. "Is this right or wrong?" , "Is this the way things should be?" or "Should we be like this?". Yup, you are right. Relationship problems. Actually we haven't had any further progress but still there are things do kinda bother me. Both of us have way different backgrounds,we lived at different places with different cultures and we are certainly different from the aspect of ideology and educations. How could we had interest in each other as there are huge differences between us? "I don't know" that's what i can tell you. Might be fate,might be luck or worst,a disaster.

I believed in soul mate. I know I know, I'm kinda weird and old-fashioned but this is me :) (He always comments me with the word 'weird' but i kinda used to that now ) There do have some kind of special feeling whenever we are together doing anything. It's kinda like we know what's each others is thinking, which lets us cooperated easily and successfully.( The word in chineses is  默契 ) I never experienced something that magical with anyone else,that's why i'm very very interested in him :)

In overall, he is a good guy,with funny,optimistic,caring,responsible and much more characteristics ( which i didn't really want to compliment much more as he will get perasaan again =.= ) But with some bad habits which I don't really like. And there's where the some of the conflicts starts. However, praised the Lord that he do listen to my advises and started to overcome those habits =) Great Job piggy xD

Well,there is nothing much to say and I think I gonna end here :) Hope that the conflicts I had will all be settled soon. Thanks for reading, felt better after splitting out.

P.S. Piggy: Sorry,I don't know how to tell you all these things so I just write them here.Nitez nitez :)

I'm just 17 and four months old

I'm still young. I haven't sat for the 'undang's talk which already states that I hardly can drive xD. I had just finished the two-months-and-two-weeks hell like national service. Im a former British Council English Intensive Course Upper Intermidiate class student. I'm currently waiting for anything that could lead my life to somewhere which is way different around.

I'm getting 18. I'm still single but I'm loved :). there is a somebody who recently did creep into my heart. So anyone who is interested in me,I would like to apologise as I'm not available n unaccessible now and later this year. I do have some crushes,but you crushes are still crushes,they won't mean anything to you after the two-week-mood. I know I sound like a jerk now but anyways,this is me xD

So this is the end of the 'Getting 18' post. Enjoy reading my craps and have a nice day. I will be updating my blog sooner or later or whenever I'm not lazy :)