Perfectionist

Yes, I am one, wouldn't denied that.But not in every aspect, just one, and that's my love life. Kinda hoped that I would get a handsome BF just like Big Bang's T.O.P, height which at least 180cm and above, great bodyline, intelligent, humor, sporting, good in socializing, great family background and most of all, the one who could accept me as who I am. Well you know, of course I haven't yet met this kind of guy before because he was like 100% perfect without any weakness.

Apart from outer appearance, I do kinda wished to have a romantic lover. Well, it's not like giving me non stop of surprises or doing something really insane for me, it's just that he would listen to me and then take notice of every little tiny details about me :) Like remember that i hate eating tauge so no tauge in any meals or the date of my ms and kindly remind me to be prepared.

Yes yes, I know I know. I should stop dreaming right now, this instance. But this had become kinda a disease, sure will happen whenever I meet a guy. Conflicts on my own will pop up, doubting my faith in his, 'Is he THE ONE?' , 'Does he deserved to be with you?','Shouldn't he treat you more nicely?', 'He's not that good,isn't he?', 'Are you SURE you wanna be with him?'. It was like wanna ask everything from him, wanting him to become THE ONE,not himself and i felt selfish and arrogant.

This really tired's me off. Battling with my own thoughts, fighting back every accusing of him, disappointment of him. Kinda lost at here. Felt the loneliness creeps up every second, unsecureness was like gonna swallowed me down. Its not their problem, it's just mine. My perfection after lover

P.s. This is my ideal guy from now on :D