Nothing is forever

Still adjusting to the life at here. In this big city, there are too much lonely souls. Everyone is hiding something, they are afraid of being judge by others, whether the others are friends or strangers. Afraid that if they just be themselves, they will not be accepted by this world or even worst, by those whom they really gave a shit in. Lonely it is. Not being able to be accepted as who they truly are. Being judged by those peoples, who they think they really are? God? Prosecutors? They are just humans too. It may be that they are being judged before too, so it's a cycle, where It won't stops until one stops.

I do need the courage which Taylor Swift has, not being afraid to those who judges. Since when, I cared that much about what the others thinks about me. It had just became a bigger and bigger burden in me, where until the point I can't be who I really was. Since when? Is it because of her? Please just stop this cycle. I'm not going to judge anyone, please just stop. I want to be able to stand, head strong, look into the eyes of those who hates me, seeing my own laughing face.

I'm shaky in the inside, felt insecure about this big city, nothing seems eternity. But then I remind myself that nothing is eternity, there aren't be anything that will be with you forever. Love fades, friendship betrayal, material stuffs wore and tears, nothing is eternity, Chia Yee! It's time to be myself, to be who I really meant to be. Just believe in your heart and you will get to the place you should. Nothing is forever - Yong Jun Hyung.

Just Lost.

This year, 2014, had been a tough one. There are so many ups and downs, gets and loses. I'm pulling up a tough image on the outside, but inside, it's shaky, felt like I'm going to shattered anytime soon. There are times where I just stare in blank even when I'm with a group of people. The Taiwanese boy band which I once loved, I had stop listening to them now. It's not that I'm tired of them, It's just that their songs just reminds me of someone I had just lost this year. After the day she'd passed away, I just found out how she had enjoyed this boy band so much. Listening to their song, especially "Tian Shi" really tears me apart. That day in the karaoke, their song was sang by my friend, without them knowing, I weeped as soon as the song starts. Sometimes It was just too much, I'm kinda lost in this big city. My aim is not clear, I don't know what I'm seeing, which steps to be taken. Lost. Lost. Lost.
And now I'm not sure what I'm talking about -_-. Well, this could counts as one of those failed posts.

Since when Fb had become such a public social site? I can't really share stuffs which are negative as not to even more pollute it. *Signs* Looks like I only had you, My Dear Dear bloggie :D

I'm 20. Had the best night in my life.

I'm officially 20 now. On 19/11/2014 1:10am. 20 years had past. Here I am now, in the capital city of this country. There are times where I felt alone, being left out, away from home. I really do think that I'm gonna spent my Birthday alone again. But really, I swear to God, this 20th Birthday is totally the best in my life! It's really a big surprise!! My BFF knows that i enjoyed bring low-key, so usually during da-day, they will just bring me out for a meal. But this year, really caught me off guard. Thanked God I get the time to change into a nicer shorts, or not it will ruined everything!!8 of u all, planned this without me knowing, now i get why I were asked of whether I liked chocolates, which unit I'm staying and so on!! So sneaky of u all :). It was an unforgettable Birthday, good memories which i will treasure in my heart. I'm bad in expressing myself, and this is the best way I'm confident that I can tell them what I really felt for today. So now its the time to thank them, for their efforts on giving me such a wonderful Birthday.

Like a Boss. LOL. ZX your pose cnt change d hor? :D

ZX: U!! Being so cool on the outside, I would never know you are so passionate in the inside if we haven't been in the same course. Thank you for always being with me, helped me out when I was down and cared for me. And that time too, when you asked me whether i'm thirsty or not. At that moment, I know that it will be the first and the last time you doing this to me :D.

AC: You who doesn't expressed yourself much had showed the other side of yours today. What a surprise!! The time we spent together weren't much, I hoped that we get to know each other more in the future. :D

PL: You too! That kind heart of yours and cheerfulness had always washed away all my bad thoughts I had in mind. And I'm totally going to the karaoke with you for the rest of 4 years!! That sweet voice of yours really touched me every time u sings. ;)

ZL: I hoped I didn't get your name wrong >.<. You and PL are always so cute, with all those super cute reactions, always ends my day with a big smile :D. Hoped that we can get closer too ^^.

XY: I never thought that you will celebrate my birthday!! It really meant a lot to me :D. Let's get closer and be the strength to each other^^. And bring me to your hometown once, really curious about  the other side of Msia.

YY: You har, bad girl. Lied to me. Make me disappointed at first. But after that really give me a surprise lo. Hahax, siaozabor! Thx for being there for me when I needed help most, Love ya XOXO.

H: I was surprised to hear guys voices when you all were singing Happy Birthday song. It's the first time, other than my relatives, there are guy friends who celebrated my Birthday. And your voice, is really really good :D. Thanks for singing at the karaoke, really felt like I'm in the middle of a concert. And always accompanies us back whenever its late. And finally felt that you are very man when paying for the karaoke. :D Jz jk ^^.

JY: You too, who lived more than 20 mins walk away, came here. I really really appreciate that you kept your promise, to sing for us when we go to the karaoke. And you rapped My Oppa's part. It's really daebak!! I don't think I can forget that :DD. It's a pity that I didn't get to record it down. >.<. Definitely going to the karaoke with u guys again!! Its a concert!!

It's really been an enjoyable night and its kinda sad that it ends so fast. I'm still being overwhelmed by those happiness and positive energises you all gave me just now :DDD. Thanks for not letting me celebrating da-day alone, rotting myself in the room with all those videos of Oppa's. I will cherished this night until I got Alzheimer's. :DDD. At last, I hoped that everyone of us will have good health and no ones gets to repeat another sem :D Be happy too ^^